Sneak a peak in my window, as a witness in my pursuit of constant happiness.

This blog is my repository of valuable finds while beach combing the sands of the webbie shore.
Of things that make laugh, of things that make me ponder and of the things that lead to more answers than questions.
All that is posted here are for the jolly and the light-hearted, no time for DRAMA, no time for SOB stories.
Only laughter and chuckles are allowed in here, guffaws are accepted though.


Home » Archives » 27. June 2007

And they have sex, not.

June 27, 2007

Posted by matadoc at 5:41 pm | permalink | Add comment

Fly me to neuter land

Two kung-fu masters were carrying on about their respective skills. "Why, my reflexes are such that you will not believe," boasted Master Foo and drawing his sword, he sliced at a passing fly, which promptly dropped dead in two pieces. 

"That's nothing," said Master Koh. Drawing his sword, he made two deft cuts at another passing fly. 

Master Foo was highly amused. "What are you talking about?" he sneered. "That fly is still flying." 

"Ah yes," replied Master Koh, "but now it can never have children."

Posted by matadoc at 5:30 pm | permalink | Add comment

Inject me please

Ah Beng, Mohammad and Muthu were at sea when they were hijacked by a group of pirates.

The pirates cornered the 3 men and said "Give us all your valuables!" The chief pirate then raised a syringe and added, "Or else we'll inject you with the AIDS virus!" 

 Mohammad quickly stripped off all his valuables and handed them to the pirates. Satisfied, they threw him into the sea.

Muthu was equally quick to comply with the pirates' wishes. Similarly, he removed his valuables and surrendered them to the pirates. Like Mohammad, he was thrown into the sea. 

 Finally it came to Ah Beng's turn. He stared at the pirates and sneered. "You all kee see lah! (go and die!) Inject, inject lah, you'll never get my lolex and my JPG warret!" 

 The pirates, showing no mercy, injected Ah Beng with the HIV virus, and robbed him of his precious watch and wallet. They then threw him into the sea with the rest. 

In the water, both Mohammad and Muthu commended Ah Beng for his bravery. However, they were pretty perplexed by why he was unafraid of the virus. Grinning, Ah Beng answered, "AIDS I not scared, what… I got condom!!!"

Posted by matadoc at 5:25 pm | permalink | Add comment

Death By Fruit

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in… but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

1…2…3…4…5…6…7…8… and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?"

The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

Posted by matadoc at 5:08 pm | permalink | Add comment